The Incredible Hulk Returns [TVM1]

1988; 100 minutes

Written and Directed by Nicholas Corea; Produced by Nicholas Corea, Bill Bixby, Daniel McPhee

Following two years without transformative incident, David 'Banyon' is working at a science facility where the completion of his invention of an innovative gamma transponder brings him to the tip of a cure, which will finally allow him to lead a normal life with his latest love, Maggie Shaw (also a scientist at the facility).  As he begins experimentation on himself yet again, a former student - Donald Blake - of his interrupts proceedings to talk about his discovery of a hammer some time ago, a weapon that allows him to call up Thor (the God of Thunder...) at will.  Proving a sceptical David wrong Blake indeed calls forth Thor, who then goes on to cause havoc at the lab, this predictably triggering the Hulk's arrival.  A battle ensues leaving a wrecked lab and Blake hanging around to help David put things back together again.  Meanwhile some bad chaps plot to steal the transponder for ransom money, ending up kidnapping David's girlfriend instead.  Thor and Hulk join forces to get back the girl and wipe out the bad chaps.

Adopting a more childish approach than the preceding TV series, the first TV movie veers more than it had previously into fantasy territory with the magical materialisation of Thor (not quite a faithful retelling of the comic story).  Hulk's hair looks worse than ever here, and the dialogue frequently takes on a juvenile persona - 80s TV was nowhere near as sophisticated as TV was later to become, but I feel there was also a deliberate agenda here to make the film more accessible to kids.  Younger viewers who may be used to the current Marvel machine and its interpretations of the comic characters will scoff at both Thor and Hulk no doubt.  One notable appearance comes in the form of the ever-active Charles Napier, who appeared in the Triangle episode as well as being credited with the voice of the Hulk throughout much of the series' existence.

Seven years seemed like a long time back in the eighties (I know, I was there), and the first time I saw this film I was expecting great advances in the special effects.  Alas it was firmly rooted in its 1977 origins.  I will say though that Ferrigno looked even more beefed up here than ever.  The film unfortunately is plagued with illogical occurrences (e.g. when Blake first appears he takes the risk of climbing into the facility with a grappling hook/rope and manages to find David's lab, rather than simply stopping the guy on his way in or out of the building), and is on the whole a tedious extension of the classic series.

Number of Fists: **

81: A Minor Problem (5.07)

1981; 47 minutes
Written by Diane Frolov; Produced by Karen Harris, Jill Sherman, Andrew Schneider
Directed by Michael Preece

After being offered an interview for a laboratory assistant position at the Dere chemical research institute, David arrives at the place only to find he can't get in - it appears to be deserted.  He looks around the local town, but there's nobody there either, with food left half eaten, etc., as if the populace simply vanished instantaneously...

The opening ten minutes or so sets up a very intriguing premise that reminds me of watching something like an episode from The Twilight Zone or the sixties Avengers TV series.  I had hoped that it was because, with this being the last episode, there were efforts at play to wrap things up to some extent, but it was never to be.  I suppose closure would more so arrive in the form of the final TV movie that Bill Bixby himself directed in 1990 (Death of the Incredible Hulk).  Still, it was a pretty good episode to go out on, with some enjoyable scenery destruction from Hulk himself as a parting gesture.

Number of Fists: ****

80: Slaves (5.06)

1981; 47 minutes
Written by Jeri Taylor; Produced by Jill Sherman
Directed by John Liberti (Libertini)

Following a minor mishap on the road when a woman ploughs her car right off it, David assists but can't do anything about a broken radiator.  So the two head off across the desolate highway towards the next town, estimated to be thirty miles away.  They're picked up by another driver a few hours later, who takes them into a town where he says he lives by himself.  That's not quite true of course, as they're both taken captive to work down the mines looking for gold.  Their captor is a descendant of slaves and holds a grudge against white Americans, irrespective of whether they as individuals are guilty or not.  And being an ex-convict, he wants to get rich by fair means or foul.

Decent episode again, largely taking place within the confines of the mine of one of the shacks in the desolate desert town.  John Hancock puts in a great, sometimes chilling performance as the scorned Isaac Ross, while it's also nice to see pre-V Faye Grant as the sexy, stubborn female that yet again causes David a whole heap of trouble (if she had only picked him up instead of driving right past him).  Charles Tyner also puts in a good show as Isaac's drunken sidekick.

Number of Fists: ***

79: Triangle (5.05)

1981; 47 minutes
Written by Andrew Schneider; Produced by Jill Sherman
Directed by Michael Vejar

Working for the Jordan lumberjack company David has met and fell in love with a prospering young woman who's achieved an MBA and wondering what to do next with her life, other than spend it with the traveller who has a past still enshrouded in some degree of mystery of course.  Mr Jordan himself, however, appears to be cursed with infatuation for the woman, and because he's not entirely happy with her hooking up with a 'drifter', he arranges to have David run out of the town.

Aside from an excess of smooching and romanticism, Triangle is quite a good story with a number of ensuing complications arising out of the relationship between David and his new-found love (an attractive presence in the shape of Andrea Marcovicci, whose most interesting moment of fame in my opinion came with her role in the tongue-in-cheek horror movie The Stuff).  Some fun bit parts also help to raise this a smidgen above the standard of season five, namely in the ever-enjoyable Charles Napier, Mickey Jones (Ricky himself), and the besotted Jordan played by Peter Mark Richman.  Unusually, this particular tale culminates in a twist.

Number of Fists: ***½

78: Sanctuary (5.04)

1981; 47 minutes
Written by Deborah Davis; Produced by Jill Sherman
Directed by Chuck Bowman

After a young man being smuggled across the border is shot by one of his captors he escapes to a nun-owned santuary where David is working as a helping hand.  The criminals attempt to get the man back so the nuns ask David to impersonate an absent priest in order to give their presence a bit more authority.

David certainly wanders off the beaten track during his adventures!  The titular domain is pretty much in the middle of nowhere, the location making for an attractive setting.  David's turn as a priest is not entirely convincing but it does give way to an interesting story development for a while (and you know that the tree they cannot uproot early on is going to find its way out of the ground one way or another in this episode...).  Hulk's angry first appearance momentarily almost reminds of the raging creature that he was supposed to be, however, overall this episode continues the mundane but watchable trend of season five.

Number of Fists: ***

77: Veteran (5.03)

1981; 46 minutes
Written by Reuben Leder, Nicholas Corea; Produced by Robert Bennett Steinhauer, Jill Sherman, Karen Harris
Directed by Michael Vejar

A man, apparently suffering from combat shock, stumbles into the alleyway where David is putting out rubbish.  The latter foils an attempted mugging and helps the Vietnam veteran back to health.   Once Hewitt is back on his feet he locates a place where he can conveniently unfold an assassination attempt on a local politician, who he blames for 'killing' him back in 'nam.  This location happens to be a studio run by a woman who is forced to be held hostage until the shooting can take place.

Centering around a good performance from the veteran, played by German-born Paul Koslo (he also played Rivers in Long Run Home), there is some amusement to be had from Hewitt just staggering into the studio saying that he needs to use the place, but the character is clearly a complete psychological mess (something that is explained later in the story by deeper issues than him simply being a returner from the war, as if that wouldn't be enough!).  Some enjoyable small scale destruction from the Hulk in the first half, after David has been tortured in a rather disturbing fashion, keep this one moving along.

Number of Fists: ***

76: Two Godmothers (5.02)

1981; 46 minutes
Written by Reuben Leder; Produced by Jill Sherman
Directed by Michael Vejar

While collecting laundry from a female detention facility, David - ever in the wrong place at the wrong time - is taken hostage by three escaping prisoners and forced to drive the van out into the middle of nowhere as the women aim to hold up for a night or two.  A bigger problem is that one of them is pregnant, with the birth not too far away as the shaking of the vehicle on bumpy roads stimulates movement of the new arrival.

The group are pursued by a fascist warden controller while David himself is believed to be voluntarily assisting the group.  The drama is enhanced a little by their forced pause in a shack as the authorities close in, at the same time as the birth is underway, although on the whole this is a running of the well worn mill.

Number of Fists: **½

75: The Phenom (5.01)

1981; 46 minutes
Written by Reuben Leder; Produced by Jill Sherman
Directed by Bernard McEveety

After befriending an up-and-coming baseball pitcher David accompanies him to a couple of trials to support him in making it into the bigger games.  David is warned that an unscrupulous agent has his eye on the player but the distracted traveller inadvertently allows the agent's female friend to beguile the titular 'phenom'.  David of course runs into trouble with the agent's heavy associates.

A reasonable start to the ill-fated season five, featuring a moderately engaging story, a sexy femme fatale who unexpectedly becomes attracted to the man she's supposed to screw over (no pun intended of course), and a suitably nefarious bad guy (nicely played by Robert Donner, who was also in Sideshow the previous year).

Number of Fists: ***

74: Patterns (4.17)

1981; 46 minutes
Written by Reuben Leder; Produced by Andrew Schneider, Karen Harris, Jill Sherman
Directed by Nick Havinga

Working at a clothes factory David is dragged by his well-intentioned boss into a plan to borrow money in order to fund a fashion show, which should bring multiplied returns.  David is unaware that he has been labelled as the boss's partner when the debt collectors show up.

The narcissistic world of fashion does not make for my favourite theme, although had they done something satirical with it then this could have turned into something better.  1981 was probably given to the kind of perceptiveness for that kind of approach.  The performances of the debt collectors are quite good, and there is a slight tension in the drama the unfolds between them and the factory boss, but on the whole this episode is a continuation in season four's decline that began directly after Interview with the Hulk, which was the last decent show of that season.  Even the title here lacks any kind of inspiration, although I suppose inadvertently it does reflect the series' trend on ending each season with a mundane closer.  Oddly this one concludes with a 1980 date stamped after the credits, though it definitely aired first in the midst of 1981.

Number of Fists: **½

73: Danny (4.16)

1981; 46 minutes
Written by Diane Frolov; Produced by Robert Bennett Steinhauer, Karen Harris, Jill Sherman
Directed by Mark A Burley

Wandering along the roadside David hitches up with a man who is on the run from pesky town's people.  He takes the traveller back to a camp where he and his friend are living free of the system.  There's also a woman there with a baby called Danny.  David stays for the night but departs the next morning as he realises all is not well within the little group: the woman, Rachel, is discontent and she heads off on the same morning.  One of the guys, frustrated that Rachel has spurned his advances, assumes the two of them have left together, thus he goes out looking to track them down, which lands David in a usual heap of trouble.

Taking place in the middle of nowhere with very few characters this one feels like it was made on a very small budget.  Robin Dearden (who also played Joleen in Brain Child) is quite good as the distraught mother Rachel but this episode otherwise feels very by-the-numbers, boring to watch and of little value to the series as a whole.  It's difficult as a viewer not to feel sorry for the baby Danny ('actor' uncredited), who spends much of the episode crying, screaming, and generally in distress.

Number of Fists: **